Sexual Behaviour and the Youth

Modern culture has tried to define sexuality as a personal right to be practiced any way one desires. Sexual behaviour is considered a personal choice, similar to taking the decision to buy a car or build a house. The word ‘sin’ has been stomped out from this definition, and the only sexual expression considered wrong is what is seen as distasteful to the definer.

When it comes to relationships particularly with the opposite sex, you have to tread carefully – that is, if you love God. As a child of God, He doesn’t expect you to just jump into relationships like the people of the world would do. You know the drill. Let’s look at how it is for a guy. 

Your body enters puberty stage, and begins to send signals to your brain which can be embarrassing sometimes, as you find it difficult to share these things with others. You begin to have feelings for the opposite sex. Sometimes it can be random; other times, it could be for one particular girl in your neighbourhood. You can’t seem to get these thoughts out of your head most of the time, and then you even catch yourself fantasising about her. Before you know it, you begin to daydream about how you can touch her and do things with her, and you wonder where these thoughts are coming from. Then, when you sleep at night, you have wet dreams – you wake up and discover that you have soiled yourself with some discharge.

And it goes on and on. I believe that this is the same experience too for young girls entering the same stage in life. I also believe that every human being (adult) went through this experience at this stage. I always tell young people whenever I get to speak to them about relationship with the opposite sex that it is very normal to feel this way, and that it is not a sin to feel this way; in fact, anyone who never had sexual feelings would have to see a doctor. So, if it is normal, what then is the problem? Why feel embarrassed about it? Why isn’t it okay to just walk over to the person to tell the person how you feel? Or is it? If yes, after then, what next? If the feeling is mutual, what then? Time to explore each other’s bodies? Hmm…

You see, the point I am making isn’t that sexual sin starts with fornication and graduates all the way to sodomy, as though it is a step by step thing into more hideous forms of sexual perversion. No. There are many young people today who have never engaged in fornication before, but masturbate or have been sodomised.

Also, many young people are so caught up, snatched up, in this rat race for relationship with the opposite sex. For many, the instant they begin to have these feelings, they begin to look for answers. Sadly, majority find answers in the wrong places. Because they are not in touch with God, because they do not have godly parents, because they do not have any spiritual parent figure in their lives, they get the kind of advice, answer, that their sexual urges desire, long for, and then they are derailed, for some, for life.

This is the reason why the word ‘fornication’ exists today. When it graduates and goes extreme, it becomes prostitution and then lesbianism, homosexuality and sodomy. This amounts to moral decadence and degeneration. There is a loss of sound judgment and rape could become the case when the individual loses control completely.

The above picture seems to present a hopeless case. But the good news is that it isn’t. There is hope, and there is a way out. There is something to do to salvage the situation. But then, when I come your way again next week, I will  begin posing some questions, and then make attempts to answer them one after the other. God bless!